NO MORE KILLING, PLEASE!

Death.. in real life terrible, in entertainment like comics, a plot device that has worn out its welcome. Just off the top of my head: Harry Osborn, Bucky Barnes, Hal Jordan, Barry Allen (although to be fair, his "death" wasn't really that, he just vanished and people have been calling it "death"), Green Arrow, Cyclops, Phoenix (okay, she's SUPPOSED to die and come back), Colossus, Hawkman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Hippolyta, Captain America, and MANY more for the list to go on. These are all characters who have died and been resurrected. So what's the point? Maybe that comic creators should STOP killing characters in an attempt to "shock" the audience, because it's ultimately futile since another writer, some time later will just invalidate that death by bringing that character back to life. Death has become an overused plot device that has become pointless and I urge comics editors to put a moritorium (pun intended) on killing off characters because it begins to show laziness and a lack of imagination on the part of the writer. There are other ways of creating drama that doesn't involve the pointless death/resurrection cycle in comics. Look at Alan Moore and what he did to Barabara Gordon in THE KILLING JOKE. He crippled a major character who to this day is still dealing with the effects of that incident, and who has become a much more interesting and integral character since. What about Tony Stark's alcoholism? Again, long range complications that make for compelling drama. At least BLACKEST NIGHT seems to be addressing this overused shock mechanism. Writer Geoff Johns I think is crafting what might turn out to be one huge deus-ex-machina of character ressurection with a consistent, storyline dicatated reason for bringing the dead back to life. Doesn't everyone think that Martian Manhunter, Aquaman, and other dead heroes will permanently resurface at the conclusion of the crossover event? Johns too was responsible for killing off Connor Kent and Bart Allen and then bringing them back himself, but at least you could tell he had a plan set in motion to do it. Which brings us to another point; every character in comics is someone's favorite and maybe it's unfair to rob the audience of that character. If a writer can't think of a use for a particular cast member, they should just find a means of writing the character out of the story for awhile so that someone else can come in and use him/her/them when they get the chance. Take a look at the unfairness here. So many heroes and their supporting casts have been killed and returned to life, and yet no one has thought of a way to bring Gwen Stacy back to life? I have, and it would be one great and OBVIOUS way to do it, that I'm surprised no one has thought of it. Yes, I know it sounds like a contradiction after saying no more killing and resuurection, but if they could do it with the long standing death of Bucky Barnes into the brilliant Winter Soldier/Captain America arc, why not Gwen? But hey, at least DC is not claiming that Bruce Wayne's current disappearance is a death....

STOP THE LATENESS!

Latness is comics... It disappoints readers, upsets retailers, and paints the comic companies in a bad light. However, THERE IS A NO-BRAINER SOLUTION!! Seriously, can't DC and Marvel figure out ways to prevent delayed comics? Why is it that I can and they can't? Corporate bullshit? Okay people, here goes- First off, DO NOT HIRE AN ARTIST TO DO A MONTHY BOOK, OR A CROSSOVER EVENT IF THAT ARTIST CANNOT DRAW 22 PAGES A MONTH! Do we need another "CIVIL WAR," or the embarrasment of J.G. Jones from "FINAL CRISIS" and the subsequent company-wide delays that result from their inability to produce on time? I'm not saying that these great artists should not work in the industry if they can't produce for a monthly medium, but INSTEAD RELEGATE SLOW ARTISTS TO MINI-SERIES OR PROJECTS that don't affect an entire line of books. Moreover, DON"T SOLICIT BOOKS OR SCHEDULE THESE HUGE EVENT CROSSOVERS UNTIL THEY ARE FULLY DRAWN and "in the can." There's even more; comic companies should take a look at websites like deviantart.com for instance to mine the talents on sites like that for new hot talent that may be able to produce great work, fast. Again, it's a no-brainer.

Now, Lateness also has to do with distribution, and unfortunately Diamond Distributors is a monopoly that has a strangelhold in the industry. Why has no one investigated this monopoly? Or have they, and come to the conclusion that comics aren't that important? What I'm referring to here is the holiday scheduling. Comics have a long tradition now for Wednesday delivery dates, and sometimes holiday scehedules make the books arrive on Thursdays, which gives retailers one less day a week to sell new releases and affects readers who may only have that Wednesday to get their books. Again, ready for another no-brainer? SHIP THE BOOKS A DAY EARLY ON HOLDIDAY WEEKS SO THAT THEY GET OUT ON THE STANDS ON WEDNESDAYS! I mean, if they can ship a day late, they can ship a day early. DUH! WOW, it took one second to think of that! Can the industry get its act together? Who knows, but above are some solutions. Next up- the ususal Wednesday Comic Report and next Sunday's column on death in comics!

THE "SINS PAST" OF JOE QUESADA AND WHAT HE DID TO SPIDERMAN

Lest you think I only have problems with the goings-on at DC Comics, let's backtrack a few years to when J. Michael Straczinsky was writing a successful run on AMAZING SPIDERMAN. It all started with an important life changing four-parter called "Sins Past," in which we discover that the most beloved dead girl in all comicsdom, gave birth to two children. Yup, can you believe that Gwen Stacy had children? Years ago I unfairly blamed JMS for writing this travesty of a strory, because it turned out the children were not Peter Parker's but those of his arch-nemisis Norman Osborn a.k.a. the Green Goblin. Well, it turned out that JMS all along had intended these children to be the by-product of Peter and Gwen's love, but Marvel Editor-In-Chief, Joe Quesada quickly nixed the idea because he felt that having children would age Peter and JMS was forced to do a rewrite of his plans with the patently ridiculous idea of Norman being the dad, thus sullying the memory of one of the most loved girlfriends in the medium. Can you believe this crap? Well, it turns out that this is not Quesada's only major screw-up in the world of Spiderman. Oh, you know what I'm talking about, but before we get there, we have to bring in the events of Marvel's CIVIL WAR, in which among other things, another mandated idiotic move occurred when Spiderman revealed his identity to the entire world. PETER PARKER WOULD DO THIS??

CIVIL WAR was a major Marvel Comics crossover event in which superheroes now had to become mandated by the government. Not a bad idea given the political climate of the times because even storywise, those repercussions are making for some interesting stories in today's Marvel Universe which had threads in SECRET INVASION and the current DARK REIGN. Now, I'm going to digress here before I get back to Spiderman, and write about the famous delay that CIVIL WAR underwent because of its artist Steve McNiven. Lateness in comics will be the subject of another column. Suffice to say, an entire months worth of Marvel's books were delayed because of the company-wide crossover, in which reatilers suffered with "make-up" comics to fill the gap. Series Editor Tom Breveroot made some of the most disgustingly insulting comments to readers and artists that I've ever read. Instead of taking the blame for a bad choice of a slow artist ( McNiven is a great artist, but too slow to hinge a company crossover on), or getting another capable artist to pick up the slack to keep the book on time, Breveroot used this as an opportunity to slam DC by comparing the lateness of WATCHMEN, DARK KNIGHT to CIVIL WAR. To be fair, DC has had similar problems, but not like what happened with CW and Breveroot's choices for comparison were uneducated because the DC titles he mentioned were not in-continuity titles that affected an entire line of comics. Furthermore, Breveroot insulted any artist in comics who ever worked as a fill-in artist by stating that comics readers don't want them. Hey Tom and Joe, has it ever occurred to you to maybe make sure your comapny wide crossover was given to an artist who could work on time, or to make sure that maybe you scheduled your event when all the issues were actually drawn and done? Kind of a no-brainer, don't you think?

Ah, but Breveroot still has his job when he should have been fired for his insults, or at least reprimanded, but such was not the case. Maybe Quesada has a liking for bad attitudes, considering his own. Ever been to a comics convention? It amazes me that DC panels are always more attended than Marvel panels at these conventions, considering that Marvel supposedly outsells DC. The DC panels are lively, fun, and its attendees are given enough teasers to whet their appetites for what's to come, without the big reveals, making fans eager for what's to come. Does Quesada do this? Does Joe Q appreciate the fact that people pay money, and stand in lines in all sorts of weather conditions to attend conventions? No, he tells his fans nothing, and that he "wants their money, and that they should buy the books,"... literally. He gives fans who attend conventions nothing to come home with and crassly tells them he wants their hard earned bucks. Nice.

It doesn't end there. So JMS continued writing AMAZING SPIDERMAN, already peeved at the editorial changes mandated by Joe Q, and then something even worse happened. Joe Q has always felt that the Peter-Mary Jane marriage was detrimental to the Spiderman character and he wanted to put an end to it. Again, he felt it aged Peter and somehow prevented better stories from being told. Hmmm, okay, I'll give him some points on this. MJ has never been more than a shallow character, no matter how many writers tried to give her a backstory to explain her flightiness, and quite frankly, MJ was a runner-up. She only moved into first position because Gwen Stacy, the TRUE love of Peter's life had been killed off years ago. Yet another column will deal with death in comics and go into Gwen there. If you don't believe me, just read Jeff Loeb and Tim Sale's SPIDERMAN: BLUE to see how true this is. So, I was in agreement and quite happy when I heard that the Peter/MJ union would bite the dust in the contraversial "One More Day" storyline. How it got there, was one of the worst ideas in the history of Marvel. Once again, JMS had one idea to put an end to the marriage, but was overriden by Joe Q again. You see, Quesada for some reason believed that divorce was wrong for a comic character like Peter Parker. Why? Peter has always been the most "relatable" hero, and since the divorce rate is so high, I bet many would have felt empathy for him; many because maybe they've been there too, or their parents have. That would have been the way to go, but no, Joe Q comes up with this infintely stupid idea that MJ and Peter make a deal with Mephisto (the devil, essentially) for the life of Peter's Aunt May, and that the marriage gets "magically" disolved and so does Peter's unmasking in CIVIL WAR. HA! Joe Q pulled a DC continuity gaffe that made anything done by their competition, in terms of continuity problems, look like nothing! So, JMS once again was pissed about Quesada's editorial meddling, that he requested his name be removed as writer of the last two chapters of "One More Day." Moreover, when Joe Q took heat for this, He said something along the lines about the story that HE wrote, that it wasn't Peter who acted out oc character by making a deal with the devil, but it was MJ. Uh, did Joe even read his own story. PETER WENT ALONG WITH IT!

And now we're in the present, where continuity is a mess in the current slew of "Brand New Day" storylines which among other things has the decades dead Harry Osborn alive and well with no explanation... and Gwen is still dead... and Joe Quesada is still running Marvel.

GRANT MORRISON SUCKS..and other stuff at DC.

I love comics, DC in particular, so when I see some repeated bonehead moves, I just gotta say something about it. Let's start with Grant Morrison. He seems to be one of DC Comics' "go to guys" these days and nothing could be sadder. His published interviews always come across like he thinks he's the only person capable of writing anything worthwhile in comics. Wrong, Grant! I have to question if Mr. Morrison has blackmail pictures of DC executives Paul Levitz and Dan Didio having sex with donkeys, or if he's providing them with the same substances that I believe he must be using to write most of his stories. The problem starts higher up though. DC Vice-President Dan Didio has always talked about the importance of the "Trinity," in the DC Universe (Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman), so what does he do to prove it? He removes Superman from his own book and his second title ACTION COMICS, and removes Bruce Wayne as Batman (and from DETECTIVE COMICS). Aside from the fact that things like this are unoriginal, having been done before, it completly contradicts statements he makes. So, let's bring this point back to Grant Morrison. Morrison is a writer who writes "heady and trippy" ideas that many confuse with genius, all the while showing that he doesn't get the characters he's writing, often eschewing good characterization in favor of making things fit his personal interpretation of his protagonists to tell a story. Mistake! Comics are a monthly serialized medium and continuity needs to be taken into account... unless you're constantly rebooting. Grant doesn't get that comics are also a visual medium because most artists who work with him don't seem to be able to show a good flow of the scripts he writes. Oh yeah, I know that he and Frank Quitely have "dazzled" people with ALL STAR SUPERMAN (the acronym A.S.S. seems to fit), but that's an out of continuity excuse for Morrison's mental masturbation in the comics medium. Most of the time, reading a Morrison penned comic will leave you wondering just what the hell you read and how it doesn't even make sense in its own context. As a result of his "wunderkind" status, DC has allowed him to write Bruce Wayne out as Batman, effectively changing that Bat-status quo, which yielded the unfortunate cancellations of CATWOMAN, NIGHTWING, and ROBIN to name a few, just to appease Morrison's plans for Batman... which includes a seemingly embarrassing return to the feel of the Adam West TV series in the new BATMAN AND ROBIN comic. Is your head spinning yet? Dan Didio even let Grant pen the company's mega-crossover FINAL CRISIS which most people hated, didn't understand, and effectively changed nothing of substance in the DC Universe with the exception of the death of the Martian Manhunter. Batman's "death" doesn't really count because we all KNOW he'll be back, most likely after BATMAN AND ROBIN hits issue 12 (can anyone say "Captain America?"). At least that's my prediction. Didio even joked at a couple of conventions, asking the crowds if they understood what FINAL CRISIS is all about. If you have to ask..... and then Judd Winick, one of the worst writers in comics gets the BATMAN title to write. WTF?? Is DC intentionally trying to ruin one of its cash-cow characters? At least DETECTIVE COMICS has weathered the Grant Morrison storm by making Batwoman headline the book with great scripting by Greg Rucka and gorgeous art by J.H. Williams! As soon as Bruce Wayne comes back, please keep Grant Morrison forever away from DC's established superheroes.

So now let's take a look at the Superman books. Supes gets shut out of his two books in favor of putting him in WORLD OF KRYPTON maxi-series. Why couldn't this story been told in the pages of SUPERMAN and ACTION COMICS? How does any of these decisions make sense. ACTION is now being headlined by D-listers Nightwing (not Dick Grayson) and Flamebird. Lame! Of course this translates into problems for the JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA comic, which has suffered from lackluster stories due to editorial policies affecting the book. The JLA is always at its most popular with the "Big Seven," and at the very least its "Trinity," and once again, what's going on in the Bat and Super books have affected this flagship title. TEEN TITANS has been sucking too from lack of direction and the removal of Robin, Superboy, and Kid Flash, but at least there's hope that it will recover soon as two of those afore mentioned characters are back in the land of the living (look for a later column griping about death in comics).

However, all is not bad, as Geoff Johns has made GREEN LANTERN a must read (can't wait for BLACKEST NIGHT!) and has returned Barry Allen as the FLASH! Making GL a great book is hard considering that its lead Hal Jordan has always been a boring character, but Johns tells such a great story, that Hal's lack of personality is not a hindrance. Last but not least, we have Gail Simone and Aaron Lopresti on WONDER WOMAN, which for my money is DC's best book currently. YES, you read that right! WONDER WOMAN has been consistently amazing since Simone took control of the Amazing Amazon. Gail is crafting story arcs that are exciting, action-oriented, filled with subtext, and generally leave your mouth hanging open in awe. One wonders (no pun) why no one else has gotten Diana so well. That's not to say that others haven't, but not like this. If you're not reading this book, do yourself a favor and start. Lopresti's art on the series has such a strong flow that you almost feel the action in your body.

Well, let's hope that DC gets their act together and fast! Next column: SPIDER-MAN!

FOR THE LOVE OF HEROES!

Welcome to COMIC ICONS ( http://www.comiciconsonline.blogspot.com/ ). In the coming days, weeks, months, and years ahead this will be a forum for comic book fans to give praise and/or gripe about our heroes and their creators. Coming next: How Grant Morrison R.I.Pped Batman a "new one," and the state of DC Comics.